From all the stories of other egg donors, I realized that anonymous donations seemed to be the most common. It's pretty easy to understand why if looking at it from the recipient's perspective.

However, I just couldn't quite make that decision to keep my donation completely anonymous. I felt like I would be treating it like it never happened. What if something happens to the child medically where the family just can't find a donor match to save his/her life (like bone marrow or kidney transplant)? I wanted to make sure that they could still reach me in the future if needed, so that's what I told the agency. Well, it appears that's something AED already plans to do, even in anonymous relationships. But then an interesting question came up: Would I be willing to meet with the recipient couple during my screening trip? I didn't even expect to hear that question. It had never come across any of the other egg donation blogs I found. I felt like I wanted to do whatever the recipients needed. They wanted to have a baby, they wanted to ask someone else to help them, so if they want to meet their donor, why not? I nervously accepted. Besides, you can't help but to be curious as to who will be raising your genetic gift.

But then, questions flooded my mind. Why did they want to meet with me? Was this another test to make sure I was everything they wanted? Would they possibly change their minds after meeting me? How could I subject myself to this kind of scrutiny?!

The whole time leading up to the meeting had me anxious. However, the social worker explained to me what the meeting was all about, and helped me to relax that this was not about judging me, but just so the couple could have a chance to meet me and get some answers that they could take with them and share with their potential child in the future. The social worker even asked me if I might have any questions I would like to ask them, and I could only think of two. The recipient woman was not half-Asian like me, she was 100%. She wasn't even my same Asian nationality, so my first question would be why they chose me? As a follow up question to this, I wanted to know what items from my profile made me so unique that helped them to choose me over all the other donors, since my appearance/nationality was not the deciding factor.

Next, I met with the couple. I was surprisingly less nervous than I had anticipated I would be during the meeting. Instead, I relaxed quickly like I was meeting with some distant relatives. They wanted to know a little bit more about me than I could provide in my profile, such as my background and family, my favorite pastimes and childhood memories, as well as questions of any little idiosyncrasies in my health (for example, I have to wear "sensitive solutions" jewelry and how my first tooth arrived very late). As to my questions, the reason they chose me had to do with the fact that I am their 3rd attempt for a donor match - the first two fell through with medical or personal conflicts. They were now "veterans" at the donor matching process, and decided that personality traits were more important to them than ethnic traits. So, what was it about my profile that really attracted them? Most of the profiles they read tended to be too broad and general - all the answers seemed to sound the same. When they read my profile, they felt that they were seeing into my personality with the details I provided, as though I were answering them in person. That wasn't the only reason of course, but the one that made the biggest impression on them.

It eventually came to the more difficult questions, but I just answered with my heart and I don't think I would change my responses. They wanted to know if I desired to hear whether they were successful - well that one was easy, "Of course! That's why I'm doing this! It's my goal too."

The social worker asked the next question... would I be willing to keep my personal information updated in the event that they would want to contact me in the future? I already knew that I would answer yes to this for medical reasons, but the social worker threw out something else; "What if the potential child wanted to meet me when they reached adulthood?" The couple told me they plan to let the child know from the start where they came from (and the social worker commended them on this since studies are showing it is better psychologically when the children grow up already knowing). If the child really wants to meet me in the future, I think I would be pleased to meet them. My husband already knows and supports that I'm doing this, so it would not come as a shock to him later in life. I also plan to tell my own children when they can understand that they have a few bio half-siblings but the fact is we may meet them someday, we may not, so they will be prepared and accepting.

Lastly, the couple wanted to take a photo with me to document our meeting and have something to show their potential child. I thought it was a great idea. I enjoyed the fact that they were so open about the procedure and want to tell their child(ren) about it.

I enjoyed meeting them so much, that now I just hope I might be so lucky to have the privilege to meet the next couple and any others in the future.